In celebration of Mother’s day, we reached out to the RIVETTES to share their tips and tricks for working moms. This also pairs well with our recent podcast, which you can check out here.
Amber
When my kids were young, I was fortunate to be off on Mondays with them. This allowed me to fully concentrate on just them so I could be a working mom Tuesday-Friday. I don’t know what I would have done without my village. I knew I had people to rely on which allowed me to still do things that were fulfilled and were good for me. This ranged from going to the gym, getting together with friends, and even having date nights.
One of my biggest rules was not to do work or take work calls from when I picked my kids up until they went to bed. If I had to finish a proposal or work on a project, I did that after they were tucked in. I knew there were times I could have waited until the next day, but as an over thinker it would have weighed on my mind that it needed to be done. I also knew that when I made a promise to a Client, I needed to keep my promise.
I remember a time when my kids were younger and playing sports, which meant practices that weren’t always close to home. These times were harder and I had to learn to adjust the balance, so I didn’t get burnt out. I made sure I had other people to carpool with. I loved more than anything to watch my kids practice. Maybe I couldn’t be there for the entire practice, but I made sure I was there for most of it.
As a working parent, I believe it’s important to remember the reason you have kids and the reason you work. Both have to be important to you, so don’t bite off more than you can chew. Your kids will only be in the phase they are in for a short period of time. We can always find reasons to not take a vacation, miss that soccer practice, or school play, but unfortunately you won’t get that time back. You have to be willing to advocate for what works for your home life as well as your work life. Nobody will do it for you.
Jo Ann
1. Keep and fiercely guard any hobby or pastime that brings you joy or fulfillment. Protect something that brings you joy even though it feels selfish.
2. If you travel and leave small children behind who are used to getting a story read to them at bedtime, record several stories for the caregiver to play while they and the child look at the book and listen to you reading it. It brings comfort and reassurance on many levels.
3. Also if you travel, work hard to avoid the trap of training them to expect a present because you went away and you feel guilty. If you just have to get a present, keep it at the level of trinkets and something that relates to where you stayed so it can be a learning opportunity. (Postcards or refrigerator magnets work great.)
4. When my kids were little I was a solo practitioner and officer solely from my home. My children could not tolerate my closed office door when I was working on projects or reports at home. For about 1.5 yrs, I maintained an apartment near my home where I could escape to do concentration intensive work.
5. Make and keep dates with significant others or close friends. Laughter is healing.
Romaine
- Letting family know when you are available to talk/participate and then be fully present… just as you would for an important business meeting.
- Set aside some means where family needs, money, or signatures can be communicated and handled the night before instead of rushing through these tasks when you’re rushing to leave for work.
- When traveling away from home, set aside some “me” time and “we” time, and be fully engaged in phone chats or other messaging resources. Ten minutes spent really listening allows you to be More meaningfully in communication during these shared moments.
- Show up on time for work and family events; this often means planning ahead and only making realistic promises.
- When you do decide that you will be missing being there on the birthday or other special event, create a celebration (simple or elaborate is not the point) that makes it clear that You are celebrating the person, not a date and that it’s your intention to fully honor family, not just checking a box.
- Keep a family calendar to help everyone stay current with what’s going on when.
- Lists work – just keep them handy as guides rather than a mandate.
Brittany
Naomi gave me a piece of advice around life that I feel applies very well to the idea of work-life balance as a newer mom: life is juggling a ton of balls in the air and not needing to be perfect at the juggle – sometimes, you’ll have to drop one eventually. It’s about knowing which balls are rubber and which are glass.
This whittles down in my mind to a reminder that as working moms, we can’t be 100% on every thing all the time. Sometimes, we have to let things go or ask for help when we’re not at that full 100% in certain areas. AND that’s okay. Perfection is not a requirement.
In the moments where I feel like I’m struggling to keep things organized, I make sure to take time to set myself up for better success by planning my week on Sunday. I utilize a bullet journal to keep track of details like doctors’ appointments, work deadlines, and how I plan to break out my day. At one point, I tried doing this down to the hour but realized quickly that you need some amount of wiggle room to allow for shifting what ball to juggle well. Whatever preparation system that works for you is something that will help keep you sane (especially after those longer work days where decision-making points have dried up in your brain).
Rhea
Time management became my best friend when it came to being a full time working mom. Of course I used time management when I was in college and worked 30hrs a week but nothing could have prepared me for the 24/hr mom shift. When I’m at work, I’m still on mom duty; when I’m sleeping, I’m still on mom duty. My biggest advice is to make time for yourself. This can be when your kid(s) are sleeping; put down that laundry basket, leave the dishes, RELAX, take some time for yourself (physically, mentally & emotionally.) If possible, take a day off or go on a weekend trip. Do whatever makes YOU feel happy and relaxed.
Kristin
For working moms, I think preparing for the upcoming week on the weekend is essential to reducing daily stresses of life. Meal prepping/planning and grocery shopping, household chore like getting laundry done, cleaning up, etc. make the week more manageable and allow for time to relax and spend quality time together after a long day at school and work. Also, make sure you know what events are on the calendar for the week so you can manage your time better (I have to remind myself to do this more than I care to admit).