How many times have you been having a conversation with somebody and all of a sudden they look down at their phone and start responding to a text or email or say, “I need to grab this?” Think about how that made you feel. In today’s society, we are so wrapped up in moving quickly, getting to the next thing, doing the next step, not wanting to wait for anything – wanting instant gratification.
Unfortunately, what we’re doing is sabotaging our relationships – with your coworkers, your spouse, your kids, your customers, your best friend. What we’re communicating to the other person is something else is more important than them in that moment. That’s an awful message to give somebody.
There’s an inherent value in active listening – whether you’re in a QRE or chatting with your BFF.
What does active listening mean?
It’s not simply hearing words that come out of someone’s mouth. It’s about how you respond to what somebody says, retaining what they say, and fully concentrating on what is being said. It’s about being fully engaged in the conversation and not allowing other things to distract you by showing somebody that you’re actively listening through how you…. These actions automatically provide assurance to that person you genuinely care, that they are important. That’s the reason you’re having a conversation with them.
So many times, we’re worried about what’s the next thing we’re going to say, what’s the next thing we’re going to do, how can I close this deal? When we do this, we are not really listening to the people that we’re talking to. We probably can’t recall most of the conversation because our brain’s attention can’t be on multiple things at one time.
We are simply humans talking to humans. If we can’t give other humans our time and attention, how are we going to get them to be our Participants, customers, our friends, our loved ones? How do we get them to trust us to be open about their feelings or the reasons they do what they do? Or trusting our advice or the services we offer?
We need to stop feeling that multitasking is productive. You need to be in the moment, listen to what others are saying, and then decide what we do with that information. This is Humans 101 and the only way for us to get back and connect with people is to put away the distractions. Don’t allow those things to get in the way of your conversations.
So, the next time you are having a conversation with someone, put down the electronics, don’t be worried about what your next question is, give them your full attention. They deserve it. Let’s get back to being in the moment with people.
Written by: Amber Tedesco